Golf in London

Don’t forget, the London Golf Show starts this week. 

Lee Westwood will be there on Friday 25th April to officially open the doors to the paying pringled punters. It’s over in the Excel Centre once more, complete with floating green, driving range, the Jack Rabbit Slim’s 100 ft putting contest, and some secret golf…somewhere.

Scanning down the exhibitor list, my hot picks are:

• British Par 3 Championship (get in there pitch and sluts!*)
• Caralynn Massage Products (where I’m hopeful of find an opportunity to say ’step into the light Carol Ann’)
• Funk’d Golf (pimp your slacks!)
• Golf for Her (next to Golf for ‘her indoors’)
• Jam Golf (this is Jam Hot)
• Whiteley Hat Company (in memory of Richard Whiteley’s sartorial flair)
• Mullingar crystal (look into the crystal and you will see a tall dark stranger)
• Lotus golf (a pleasurable combination of kama sutra and golf posture theory)

 Get yourself down there and bag some goodies.

*Thanks to YoMomma for finding filth in par 3s.

Yes, the European Open is coming to London. Well, actually it’s coming to Kent. But let’s not nitpick. Garden of England and all that. It’s going to be held at The London Club. Which has London in the title and is quite near London so, y’know…

It seems Sir Smurfit’s selfless offer of £1M sponsorship of the European Open for 10 years since 1995 has finally run dry, shortly after the Ryder Cup was held at his handsomely priced K Club in Dublin. Widely regarded as one of Arnold Palmers’ most watery and American of creations.

I guess after all the excitement of the Ryder Cup suddenly the seamless relationship branding between paper packagers Smurfit Kappa and professional golf seems somehow, I don’t know…less obvious.

But hey, it was a good do. We won. Don’t we always?

Couldn’t we just give the Americans a head start this year, let Mike Weir play, or promise to play cackhanded with a 7 iron. Oh, I think I just pumped my fist. Is that bad? There it goes again! Once you pump you can’t stop.

The K wasn’t completely inappropriate as a Ryder Cup venue though. I mean, most Americans, if pressed, will claim Irish descent right? Just as most English, if pressed, will claim to be third generation Jedi. So you see, right there serendipity in it?….and £10M.

Anyway, the European Tour needed a new venue and Bendinat Group owned, Jack Nicklaus-designed The London Club fits the bill. The Mallorcan-based property developer Bendinat Group also sponsor the London Senior Masters tournament which continues to the held at the London Club.

The London Club has an interesting history. It was established by a Japanese owned company and opened in 1993. According to The British and International Golf Greenkeepers Association:

“The tale goes that Mrs Thatcher was on a trade mission to Japan and was approached by some Japanese business men who wanted to build the best golf course in the world. Legend has it that Mrs Thatcher told them that she had a country to run but that they’d better speak to golf-loving Dennis. He persuaded them to build the club in this country and ultimately Dennis became Club President.”

Doesn’t Legend always have it?

Gawd bless him, Dennis loved his golf. He loved his gin too. What more qualification can a man need? Never mind your bunker babes and your Paula Creamers, Dennis is golf’s real poster boy.

Where were we? Ah, yes, European Open, The London Club. July 3-6, 2008.

Be there, but wear your sunglasses, that spotlight promises to be a bloody menace.

So Oakwood Pitch and Putt in Enfield has gone the way of the pitch and putts at Bethune Park, Edgwarebury, and Valentines Park. It is due to be ‘re-landscaped’ back into a park.

Enfield Council have closed Oakwood in favour of their other two pitch and putt courses in Jubilee Park and Grovelands Park. Whether this has anything to do with a previous legal dispute in 1999 which led to closure of all three pitch and putt courses for at least 3 years, I don’t know. I wonder if Jubilee ever reopened?

More to the point, if it was shut for 3 years and has been shut for some time recently, how can Enfield Council know whether Oakwood is popular or not? What are they basing that assumption on…a long period of closure?

I do know that Jubilee Park Pitch and Putt was closed in 2007 and I think it remains closed, at least for now. According to Enfield Council, Jubilee Park Pitch and Putt will re-open, but when?

I think the reason for closing Oakwood Pitch and Putt is to save costs. Enfield Council states that the cost of keeping Oakwood Park Pitch and Putt open is £12K pa.

What if all London boroughs followed suit and scrutinised the financial performance of their pitch and putt courses? I expect that pretty soon, the flags in public parks would all be pulled up for good. And yet how can they be expected to flourish without regular maintenance, improvements, promotion, and investment.

However, in my opinion their closure would be a real blow for golf in London. If Borough Council’s bowed out and closed their courses, what would we be left with? Par 3 courses in private hands, attached to driving ranges and golf clubs. £8 minimum, up to £15. They’re not really pitch and putt, they’re just short golf courses.

It’s not only expense that will be a hurdle to people who have never played golf before. Accessibility will be greatly reduced. Golf courses are often hidden away in London. You can easily pass them by without noticing. And, if you haven’t got a car, you will be lucky to find one which is easy to travel to using public transport. Pitch and Putt courses in public parks provide a highly visible, cheap, and easily accessible introduction to golf. Without them, I think it’s likely the number of people taking up the game in the London area would drop. 

The majority of pitch and putts are in public parks owned by the Council. The Council is responsible for managing these parks for the benefit of the local people, particularly for their health and leisure. Pitch and putt fits the bill for providing leisure services in public parks because:

• the course doesn’t alter the landscape or views in a park
• there is no need to cordon off playing areas
• it’s inexpensive to run and maintain
• it can be played by people of all ages
• it’s one of the most accessible sports to those with a physical disability
• golf is the fourth most popular sport in the world
• despite the myths about golf there are no barriers of age, race, or class to playing golf

Unfortunately for golf, it is unfashionable and ridiculed by many who have never played it. Worse still, in terms of sports strategies of London bodies, charities, organisation and Borough Councils, golf is not an Olympic Sport. Some, those few who have not heard the name Tiger Woods, even claim golf is not a sport at all.

There is funding available though. And there are good reasons grant it. The governing bodies for golf have funds to promote it, especially to children. The London Development Agency, the Mayor, Sport England, Sport Development Officers, the National Lottery, and local fundraising/interest groups would also find such funding within their ambit. I see for instance that Sport England has funded practice greens at Crowlands Heath Golf Club and that the National Lottery has funded Rickmansworth Public Golf Course and Pitch and Putt.

It’s not exactly resource hungry. Pitch and Putt isn’t manicured golf. There is really no need for bunkers and other hazards. Even a fairway is optional, any way is fine so long as there’s tees, greens, flags and a hire shop.

I don’t know why councils have taken a sudden dislike to them. Pitch and putt courses seem to me an ideal way to provide a leisure activity in public parks. Golf is the fourth most popular sport in the world and everyone can play. In terms of accessibility for all ages and physical capabilities, it is above football, rugby and cricket. Grandparents can play with their grandchildren and a physical disability will not always prevent someone from playing.

A pitch and putt course can also be laid out on ground open to everyone. Even many full size golf courses are on commonland where golfers give way to walkers. Pitch and putt courses do not require any great alteration of the natural landscape. 9 greens and tees will not dramatically alter the view or the habitats for birds, animals and insects, especially compared to other sports pitches.

London Borough Councils have not been permitted to buy or been given the land which is now public parks in order for them to save money to spend it elsewhere. As I understood it, public parks are here for the leisure and health of local residents. Taking Oakwood as an example, now that the Pitch and Putt has closed what leisure facilities will be put in its place?

I presume Enfield will say, we provide pitch and putt courses at Jubilee Park and Grovelands. That’s already more than many other London Borough Councils. Three courses is excessive and the money can be better spent elsewhere.

But how much exactly are we talking about and where will this money be spent which is of greater benefit than continuing to run the pitch and putt at Oakwood? According to Enfield concil it amounts to £12K a year, but no other details are given.

There are ways, I guess, to improve the figures:

• A webpage with a photo, fees, opening hours and address (basic and cheap)
•  Ensuring it is listed on golf websites, local tourism sites, and sports sites.
• Providing hire of clubs and balls alongside some small seating area and sale of tea and coffee, cold drinks and snacks will be used by walkers and golfers
• Making the course length in accordance with British Pitch and Putt Association standards so it is suitable for competitions
• Encouraging the creation of a club with membership benefits and competitions
• Approach a local golf professional to provide periodic group lessons
• Improve the signage within and outside the park to ensure passers by know there is an open pitch and putt course
• Applying to grant giving charities and bodies for investment

It may seem daft to put seating out and sell teas and coffees at a pitch and putt, but I remember visiting one golf course in London and stopping for a brew at a new concession at the 10th tee. It was a regular haunt for walkers and gossips and they told me they were so glad it reopened recently because now people have a chance to sit and chat. I can imagine the same reaction in many public parks.

There are ways and means to make a success of pitch and putt, I’m sure of it.

Look how well Palewell Park is run and Centenary Park and Dagenham. I have my fingers crossed that Barnet are going to tell us that Oakhill Park Pitch and Putt is just closed for the winter, not for good.

So if the closure of pitch and putts gets your hackles up and you like your park life how it is,  let your council know, especially if you live in Enfield.

This has been a pitchly puttular broadcast on behalf of the Golfing Party. Power to the People, two sugars ta, make mine a milky one, etc. etc.

I know, sounds like a skiffle band.

But just when football and rugby are taking over the sports news to the exclusion of all else, up pops Monty on the early evening news. All smiles and knitwear, encouraging young children to play golf on a sunny Monday at Dukes Meadows.

Although from the look of two of them, they didn’t need much encouragement. The two girls featured, with the full and flowing swings, are no doubt strong contenders for the Championship. One 8 year girl old can apparently drive the ball some 200 yards!

Monty was there to attract the press and TV to the HSBC sponsored “Wee Wonders” championships. This is championship for junior golfers aged 5-12, founded by Alistair Good, the PGA pro from Gullane Golf Club. The championship is held in three stages including local qualifiers, regional finals, and the grand final.

If you think your little un has what it takes, then in the London area the 2008 local qualifiers will be held at:

North Weald Par 3 Course (9 April 2008)
High Beech Golf Club (28 May 2008)

(Click on the Course Photos section of this website for a look at both courses).

The nearest regional final will be held in Aldwickbury Park Golf Club on 28 June 2008, and the Grand Final will be held at St. Andrews on 23 and 24 August.

In an innovative twist on strokeplay, Wee Wonders is scored by giving each player a total of 36 shots. A flag is planted on the course where their 36th shot comes to rest and the player who progresses furthest around the course is the winner.

Both High Beech and North Weald are excellent par 3 courses. North Weald is a good choice because the professional there runs group lessons for juniors in small practice ground next to the course, and both courses at High Beech are well worth playing.

Dukes Meadows, incidentally, is the only course I can think of in London that has an ‘Academy’ course devoted to junior golfers (in addition to its immaculate par 3 course).

It seems Monty has been working to help promote the Wee Wonders Championships for some years now and he was on fine form for the cameras yesterday. The Times managed to catch up with him yesterday morning, tucking into his bacon and eggs.

Good man!

Choosing a golf magazine is a matter of personal taste. Many (perhaps as many as 80% of all golfers) will find none to their taste and not bother at all. Others will find their urge to consume unsatisfied with just one mag, and yet another might subscribe to the same magazine for years without so much as sniffing the others. 

This article is for those interested to find out more about golf magazines, probably with a view to subscribe or buy a subscription as a gift.

Because the world of golf magazines is not for idle dabblers. It’s hard core. For golfers not content with just playing golf, for those whose itch must be scratched at all times. When they’re on the lav, sitting on the train, or reclining in their favourite armchair.

They’re for golfers who are convinced that tips and a bag full of shiny new clubs are all that’s standing between them and Open glory. They are the for men who stand proudly reading magazines in WH Smith, men who eat bacon butties, men who are so confident in their absolute lack of cool they can slap their monthly on the counter, look the shop assistant in the eye and proclaim,

‘Yeah, that’s right baby, I’m a golfer, now chop chop and throw in that king size Toblerone while you’re at it.’

I am one of those golfers. But I hasten to add, as this is already deteriorating into Coke Zero ad territory, I’ve never called a shop assistant baby or insisted that they ‘chop chop’. I’m more the type to wrap my golf magazine in a newspaper and pay with right change so I can make quick my escape.

So what are they for? These monthly magazines tucked in next to the motorbiking and angling sections.

Surely if you want instruction you go to your nearest PGA professional or you buy a book or DVD? If you want to find out about courses, you look online or buy a directory don’t you? If you want news you want it now, not next month, so you  look online or read the sport pages of the national newspapers. Just what is the point? What can magazines do that other mediums can’t do better?

Instruction in magazines tends to keep re-hashing the same stuff over and over again. It also has a kind of scattergun approach to fault fixing and the explanations are so bite-sized they probably do more harm than good. However, magazines are good at presenting a frame-by-frame analysis of a golf swing, which must be a good aid to tuition or studying a famous golfer’s swing. The quality of photography is also usually better than through a film camera.

They offer a reliable, known, and hopefully independent source of reviews of equipment and courses, which is more difficult to trust online. Magazines are especially good at this when they make their methods known. Some will use robot testing of clubs. Others will use a panel of industry and club golfers to review courses.

More than this, magazines offer a place to find more in depth articles and trusted opinion pieces. You don’t want to be straining your eyes and your attention span reading long pieces on the internet. They can hire regular columnists from among the best writers, and guest editors and writers from among the ranks of professional golfers.

They seem to be  particularly suited to profiles of and interviews with professional golfers and other figures from the golfing world. Both by having the credibility to secure an interview in the first place or the resources to commission a detailed and researched profile from an established writer.

The layout and design of a magazine ought to be far superior to their online counterparts, who are restricted in their flexibility to layout each page according to its content. Print pages are also less distracting to read than their online counterparts. There’s no flashing or animated banner ads and there’s no pop-up windows trying to grab your attention.

Professional and especially commissioned photography should also be a strong point of magazines, using effects to show swing analysis, portraits of famous golfers, and enticing landscapes of beautiful courses. Admittedly they lack the ability of You Tube to show accessible moving images, but the quality ought to be far superior.

Being monthly for the most part, they are less suited to tour event roundups and predictions, but are a good place to look for previews and reviews of the major tournaments.

Arriving through your letterbox without you lifting a finger has a lot to be said for it too.

I imagine many buy them on impulse, when they’re prevented from playing because of the weather, when they want to find out more about buying golf clubs, or when they see a golfer they admire featured on the cover.

So here they are, summaries of Golf Punk, Today’s Golfer, Golf Monthly, Golf World, and Golf International (all purchased in February 2008). They have been chosen because they were all that was available at the time. I think there are more, and certainly many more published around the world (some US editions may be available by subscription to the UK or from some larger agents). There was a mag called Bogey magazine, but I can’t find a copy. I’m guessing it folded some years ago. Play Better Golf Magazine appeared for a while, published by Descartes Publishing in Peterborough, but appears to have stopped since summer 2007.

After the summaries you can find an analysis of each magazine’s content and a rating for each one. For me, the overall rating doesn’t mean much. As I said before, which one you buy is a matter of personal taste, but at least here you can see which magazine is stronger in which area of content.

SUMMARIES

Golf Punk

Golf Punk magazine is now published by JF Media Ltd (www.golfpunkonline.com). It was launched by Tim Southwell, a former editor of Loaded Magazine in 2003. the A single issue costs £3.75 and a year’s subscription is £34.95.

This makes Golf Punk by far the best value of all golf magazines reviewed. In terms of price per issue, editorial over advertisements, and dimensions, it’s head and shoulders above the rest. It’s particularly strong in page design, photography of golf equipment, and fashion.

I’m not sure about the strapline ‘The golf mag for everyone’ though. Seems to me Golf Punk is aimed at 16-30 year old men, who don’t want to be seen buying geeky golf magazines. The ‘Bunker Babes’ are more Esquire than Nuts and if scantily clad beautiful women with golf clubs are your bag, you’ll love ‘em.

Other strong points are its travel section ‘Planet Golf’, which has more detail than other mags on non-golf aspects of travel and its ‘Legends’ section, which is arguably the best thing about Golf Punk, in my view.

The equipment section looks good, certainly more effort has been made by Golf Punk than any other magazine to make golf clubs look desirable. But it doesn’t attempt any serious review or testing, so ends up just looking like advertorial.

Its busy ‘lads mag’ looks won’t be to everyone tastes and it’s unlikely to appeal to older readers who might want more opinion pieces and in depth features.

Today’s Golfer

Today’s Golfer is published by EMAP (www.todaysgolfer.co.uk). A single issue £3.90 and a full year’s subscription is £50.70. EMAP was the second biggest magazine publisher until it was broken up in 2007. EMAP Active is it’s biggest magazine division and publishes Today’s Golfer and Golf World.

The higher subscription is in part due to the number of issues in a year. It’s strengths are equipment reviews, course reviews, and instruction.

The reviews by staff and readers of golf courses in the UK set it apart from other magazines and its regular section where readers go ‘undercover’ and give an account of their day at a golf club is always worth a look.

The instruction section benefits from good clear photography and text by pro golfers, but not tour golfers. So for the most part, these articles are not encouraging you to emulate a famous golfer’s swing who happens to have won recently, but concentrates on common faults.

The equipment section has a regular and comprehensive listing of the top-selling clubs and a mixture of reviews and news. It’s looks aren’t bad. Utilitarian rather than cutting edge. Not in the same league as Golf Punk, but clear and easy to read. I think it’s less of an all-rounder than other mags, playing to its strengths rather than attempting to provide a magazine for everyone’s interests. This may or may not have something to do with the fact that the publisher has two golf magazines (see Golf World).

Golf Monthly

Golf Monthly is the biggest and most sober looking mag. More often than not, the cover has a full-length shot of a guy driving off the tee. That they’ve chosen inoffensive, average, affable, good guy David Howell to guest edit speaks volumes. They are the thick brown courdroys to Golf Punk’s Japanese denim.

I’m guessing that this is what golfers want though. From the amount of advertising Golf Monthly are able to sell, golfers must be turning their pages in significant numbers, somewhere in the region of 70,000 I understand. They may not be the leader, but there’s something comforting about sitting down with Golf Monthly and a brew.

Although I’m often disturbed by Golf Monthly’s instruction pieces. No doubt the photographs get the message across of the right move and the wrong move, but there’s something po-faced and ugly about the photography.

It’s strengths are its size and all-round coverage. The pages given to regular columnists are a strong point and will be appreciated by many readers. The sections on travel and rating of courses by panellists are also excellent.

It’s probably the most impressive all-round magazine available, but lacks flair and design. It’s also badly let down by its photography and weight of advertisements. If it had an ounce of Bogey magazine’s visual flair it might catch up with Today’s Golfer yet. 

Golf World

Golf World is published by EMAP. It doesn’t seem to have a dedicated website any more (was www.golfworldmagazine.co.uk) in the same way as its stablemate Today’s Golfer has, but there are some web pages (perhaps a reflection on TG’s much higher circulation figures).  A single issue is £3.90  and a year’s subscription is £45.00.

Golf World have a lot to thank Ian Poulter for. They should give him a retainer and get him a regular column. He’s great value and is not afraid to speak his mind. The world’s golf media, ever eager with sarcasm and admonishment, was shocked recently that any golfer dare compare themselves with Tiger. Poor Poulter has been brought to account over his claim that ‘[when I play to my full potential]…it will just be me and Tiger’. Isn’t that outrageous? A professional golfer with the gall to think they’re the best? I hope he wins next time out.

Golf World has a strong set of contributors. Nick Faldo is their ‘Playing Editor’ who has a column. Laurence Donegan (author and The Guardian’s golf corrrespondent) also has a column.

But it’s main strength is profiles of and interviews with famous golfers, in which area the magazine is without peer. In one edition there are pieces on Ian Poulter, Tiger Woods, Rory Sabbatini, Gary Wolstenholme, Geoff Ogilvy, and Miguel Angel Jimenez.

Golf World is concerned with personalities, not clubs, courses and instruction. It also has by far the best cover design of all mags reviewed here. They are also the only magazine editors to get a pro golfer to pose naked on the cover. At least I think so. Come on Monty…get your kecks off, you know you want to! No moobs no Ryder Cup place this year.

Golf International

Golf International is published by Golf International Services Ltd. A single issue is £3.95 and a year’s subscription is £40.00. Golf International came out top in my marks below, because it scores well in the most different areas that magazines cover.

It doesn’t look like controversy and headline grabbing will ever be in Golf International’s remit. It has the look of an American magazine to me, and one with a conservative attitude. I would guess that there’s more reading matter in Golf International than any other magazine reviewed here. An impression reinforced by the fact it’s not only the only magazine to carry a book review, but that the review is given two full pages.

I liked the amateur section, something not covered in any other mag, sponsored by American Golf in the edition reviewed here.

The instruction photography is good, with a frame-by-frame analysis of Ernie Els’ swing and a clever time-lapse type shot showing the position of the arms at different stages in the swing.

The travel section photography stands head and shoulders above all others reviewed here. It’s golf for grown ups, but perhaps more a coffee-table mag than the others. Could use a poke in the ribs and some more interesting text design.

MARKS/COMPARISON

Marks out of 5 are given for each criteria (5 being the best), and these are added up to give a total mark out of 60. The best in each category is marked by italic text. The issues compared were all purchased in February 2008.

As for circulation figures, The Guardian reported in February 2007 that Today’s Golfer is the leading magazine, with Golf Monthly the next closest competitor, followed by Golf World and Golf Punk. It did not mention Golf International. Golf Punk seems to have recovered from financial difficulties in 2006 and a change of ownership seems to improving circulutation in 2007.

Overall mark

Golf International 39 / 60
Golf Monthly 38 / 60
Golf Punk 38 /60
Golf World 33 / 60
Today’s Golfer 32 / 60

Price (single issue 2008)

5. £3.70 Golf Monthly
4. £3.75 Golf Punk
3. £3.90 Golf World
3. £3.90 Today’s Golfer
1. £3.95 Golf International

Subscription (full price) (United Kingdom)

5. £34.95 Golf Punk JF Media Ltd (11 issues)
4. £40.00 Golf International (10 issues) (Golf International (Services) Ltd)
3. £45.00 Golf World (EMAP) (12 issues from www.greatmagazines.co.uk)
2. £44.40 Golf Monthly (IPC Media) (12 issues)
1. £50.70 Today’s Golfer (EMAP) (13 issues from www.greatmagazines.co.uk - link from Today’s Golfer website)

nb. There are always subscription deals and discounts. ‘Free’ golf balls seem to be a favourite.

Length (pages)

5. 162pp Golf Monthly
4. 154pp Today’s Golfer
3. 146pp Golf International
3. 146pp Golf World
1. 130pp Golf Punk

There are often supplements and even free books or DVDs packaged with these magazines to give them the edge over their competitors in any given month.

Columns (opinion pieces) (pages)

5. 15pp Golf International
4. 8pp Golf Monthly
3. 3pp Golf World
2. 2pp Golf Punk
1. 0pp Today’s Golfer

Features (pages)

5. 24pp Golf Punk
4. 16pp Golf World
3. 10pp Today’s Golfer
2. 9pp Golf Monthly
1. 0pp Golf International

Interviews/profiles (pages)

5. 42pp Golf World
4. 24pp Golf Punk
3. 14pp Golf International
2. 7pp Golf Monthly
1. 0pp Today’s Golfer

Amateur and Professional tour news/results/betting (pages)

5. 24pp Golf International
4. 7pp Golf Monthly
3. 7pp Golf Punk
2. 7pp Golf World
1. 0pp Today’s Golfer

Instruction (pages)

5. 40pp Today’s Golfer
4. 24pp Golf International
3. 18pp Golf Monthly
2. 14 pp Golf World
1. 5pp Golf Punk

Adverts (pages)

5. 27pp Golf Punk
4. 35pp Golf International
3. 41pp Golf World
2. 51pp Today’s Golfer
1. 63pp Golf Monthly

Equipment (incl. clothes) (pages)

5. 21pp Today’s Golfer
4. 18pp Golf Punk
3. 14pp Golf Monthly
2. 9pp Golf International
1. 6pp Golf World

Golf courses (pages)

5. 13pp Today’s Golfer
4. 5pp Golf Monthly
3. 4pp Golf World
2. 2pp Golf International
1. 0pp Golf Punk

Travel (pages)

5. 20pp Golf International
4. 18 pp Golf Monthly
3. 14pp Golf Punk
2. 7pp Golf World
1. 6pp Today’s Golfer

I love playing golf, but never gave much thought to why. Even when prodded, I can’t latch on to and something immediately and say, ‘That’s it, that’s why I love it.’ And most times someone asks you about golf -  they don’t really want an answer. Its just some smart arse remark they had in store. Something about walks being spoiled, pimps, snobs and little white balls.

I don’t mind, it’s all water off a duck’s hairy bumcrack. Just some ribbing picked up second-hand. Golfers aren’t half as cool as most people’s blaxploitation image of a pimp and I don’t know anyone who thinks so highly of walking they worry it might spoil.

OK so snobs and clubs go together like pigs and shit, that’s a given. But however much it tries, golf can’t lay claim to all the world’s snobs. I must have been to over a hundred different golf clubs in the last three years and it’s always the same. The clubs with the windows that look like they’re dripping with condescension and steamed up with disapproval? They’re the ones that always the most friendly and welcoming.

I suppose now and again I wish golf was just a few degrees cooler. Not like Samuel L. cool, but just enough to thaw that mixture of pity and aggression which non-golfers reserve for meeting golfers. The way their eyes glaze over and seem to say, ’Oh, that’s a shame - you’re a borderline-autistic, misogynist pig’.

So I was happy to discover Timothy O’Grady’s book, On Golf, which is a welcome and convenient Lazy Man’s Apology for Playing Golf. Actually, it’s a lot more than that, but even on its own, that’s a good enough reason for me to read it.

O’Grady is a writer who happens to be obsessed with golf. He first came to write on golf through commisions from Esquire magazine and since then he has written about courses around the world and his encounters with famous professional golfers. I chanced upon him in an article he wrote for Time Out, which struck a chord with me.

This book is published by Yellow Jersey Press, publishers of Seve’s autobiography (I wonder how it compares to Peter Dobereiner’s book on the young Seve), Lawrence Donegan’s Quiet Please, and Tom Cox’s recent Bring me the head of Sergio Garcia (which I have reviewed here).

In eight short chapters bursting with considered facts, ideas and anecdotes he examines what it is about golf that has fascinated him - whether it’s hitting a pure golf shot or Arnold Palmer’s victories, or his blow-by-blow account of a 77 at El Saler - and describes how it has shaped his life and his relationships, particularly with his father:  

1.  The Shot
2.  Father and Son
3.  Can Golf Save the World
4.  Estrangement
5.  Professionals
6.  Marooned with Brigitte Bardot
7.  Mr O’Grady
8. Symposium

We follow from the author’s first brush with golf aged 8, to his caddying days at Edgewater Golf Club, on to his teens where ‘golf assumed an imperial presence in [his] life’  and his ‘estrangement from golf’ during his university years, to playing municipal golf in London and finally playing the world’s best courses on luxurious assignments with Golf World and Esquire magazines.

The weight and variety of quotes and anecdotes and the star turns from famous and unknown golfers which the author produces to illustrate why so many become obsessed with golf infuses the book with humour and authority. Until all the strands are gathered together and distilled in the ’symposium’ of ideas at the end of the book,  only for such high minded ideas to be brought down to earth by his touching account of the last days of his father’s life.

Golfers will enjoy reading this amusing and incisive account of why they are addicted to the game, and will devour the facts and quotes from famous golfers which punctuate the text. The tale of father and son will resonate with most readers and it’s told with a prose style not often found among golf books. You can read a sample in The Observer (3 August, 2003).

It’s not a new book, having first been published in 2003, but it’s still in print now in paperback. I think the hardback is worth searching out for its cover image of that coolest of student pin-ups - Che Guevara - putting out in military uniform (see above).

It will be particularly interesting for golfers living in London, as it describes the authors attempts to play golf with no car and no club membership. Maybe it strays too far down the cul-de-sac of analysis for some, but there’s always a gag or an anecdote to lighten the tone.

I enjoyed this little book, which manages to tell so much in so few pages.  It’s enough to stir even this laziest of golfers to think. Its style and themes won’t date and you can be confident giving it as a gift to a golfer or to someone unfortunate enough to live with one.

On Golf. Timothy O’Grady. Yellow Jersey Press, 2003. 0 224 06112 7. (currently available in paperback for £5.99)

Crowlands Heath Golf Club in Dagenham has a short ‘links-style’ 9-hole golf course. The course is privately owned, operated on a pay-and-play basis, and membership of the club is also available.

Crowlands Heath Golf Club   
Wood Lane
Dagenham
Essex
RM8 1JX
Tel. (020) 8984 7373
Website: http://www.chrisjenkinsgolf.com/crowlands.html

Course(s)  

• Holes: 9 hole golf course
• Par: 33
• Yardage: 2,738 yards
• Established: 2000
• Architect: Pinner Design

The course is laid over open parkland and features contoured landscaping, bunkers, water hazards, greens and tees to USGA standard, and variable tee positions. 

Green fees

£9.00 /£12.50 (weekdays 9/18 holes)
£11.00 / £15.00 (weekends 9/18 holes) 

Various discounts are also available.

Photographs

Photographs from the course taken in January 2008 can be viewed here.

Facilities

• 9 hole golf course (2738 yards, par 33)
• 30-bay covered ‘Aqua’ driving range (over water)
• Short game practice area (2 practice greens)
• Bar
• Small shop
• Buggies
• Changing rooms
• Tuition from PGA professionals

Directions

View Larger Map

Turn off the A12 at the junction with for Whalebone Lane North (A1112) and head south towards Dagenham. Take the turning for Wood Lane (A124) and continue on this road until you see the golf club on your left.

Turn off the A13 for Ripple Road (A1306) headed northbound, then take Heathway (A1240) to Dagenham, turn into Wood Lane (A124) and continue until you see the golf club on your left.

Course review - January 2008

These 9 holes are laid out on a small plot of land containing Wantz Lake and bounded Crowlands Sports Ground, Ford Sports Ground, and Crow Lane. It’s a small but perfectly formed oasis among industry. Where golf is played out against a backdrop of neighbouring sports facilities, container storage, and the imposing beauty of the gasometers of Romford Gas Works.

Dagenham was once a rural area associated with fishing and farming until the docks and railway made it an attractive location for industry. Becontree Heath where the course is situated was the site of the meeting place for the historic Becontree hundred (at the ‘tree of a man named Beohha’) . It’s all a bit gnomic to me. I know a man, yes, he’s name’s Rory Beohha…I expect these days they meet at Burger King.

Another clue to its past lies in the evocative street name - Whalebone Lane, which takes its name from the bones of a whale set up at a cross-roads nearby, as far back as the 17th Century. This story was revived recently when a whale found its way up the Thames as far as Battersea…Gill Gapers, or whatever fishy fanatics are called, can find out more about dem bones here.

Dagenham’s rural character was altered dramatically by the 1930s, when it was transformed by two construction projects of unprecedented scale - The Becontree Estate (‘Corned Beef City’) and the Ford Car Manufacturing Plant, which conspired to cause a population explosion in the area.

Whilst the estate survives and thrives, the Plant has been wound down as far as churning out new Fords is concerned. Goodbye production line Fiestas and Mondeos, hello diesel engines. You can easily spot Ford’s new(ish) Diesel Engine Centre as it’s powered by a couple of huge wind turbines set amongst the cars.

Other new developments, such as Crossrail, Thames Gateway and the Thames Gateway Bridge are all set to further transform the fortunes of Dagenham. But no doubt its association with sport will also continue, having long been established.

Until recently Dagenham has been known more for its football than its golf. Alf Ramsey (Manager of the ‘66 England team) was a Becontree boy, as was Jimmy Greaves, who wrote about growing up here in his authobiography.

‘When I was a kid, the only thing to do in Dageham was play football’.
Jimmy Greaves

They weren’t the only ones. Terry Venables grew up in Dagehmam, and Bobby Moore in Barking. Over Rainham Road South lies the Daggers ground, and the Hammers have their training ground in Chadwell Heath to the North West.

Crowlands Heath Golf Club maybe turning more heads from the terraces to the fairways based on their recent form. First Tommy Hunter  (taught by Nick Rose) and now Oliver Fisher (taught by Chris Jenkins) from Crowlands Heath have become golf professionals. Hunter, who holds the course record of 63 at Crowlands Heath, is playing on the EuroPro Tour; and Fisher has become the youngest ever to qualify for the European Tour. Also, over the road at Central Park Pitch and Putt, John Deeble, Steve Deeble and Ron Cope have all represented their country in the European Pitch and Putt Championships. 

Golf tuition is clearly a strong point at the Club and is available on the driving range, the short game area (completed in 2007), and out on the course. The range uses lighter golf balls called ‘floaters’ which are gathered up in nets by the club outside playing hours. Small islands float on the water with flags showing distances from the tees on the range. The water ends around 170 yards from the teeing area, when the ground climbs up in a bank behind the lake, giving a full distance of around 250 yards. Some of bays on the range have power tees, which tee up each ball for you.

Other nearby golf facilities are: Romford Golf Club, Fairlop Waters and  Warren Park Driving Range (on Whalebone Lane North).

Crowlands Heath Course was completed in June 2000 to a design created by Michael Pinner. Pinner, now living in Essex, has previously worked with Jack Nicklaus’s course design company. He is credited with several courses in Europe, including courses in Austria and Mallorca.

As you can see from the low-lying surrounding landscape, the contours of this course are not natural features. They are the result of landfill work, but unlike other developers, they don’t seem excessive in terms of their height. The contours define the separate holes and create slopes and dips around the greens. If anything the size of the plot, the quality of the greens and tees, and the unexpected attractiveness of the course reminds me of Northwick Park. They have both transformed a wasteland plot into a quality golf course.

In keeping with the ‘links style’ I don’t recall any trees on the course, although perhaps there was some planting around the back of the 4th and by the 8th. So the course is wide open with all holes visible from one another. The course’s defences are therefore bunkers, some water hazards, the rough and wind.

The bunkers are well positioned from the tee for most players, generous in size, reasonably deep,  and well-maintained. They are shaped in keeping with the course’s links style and are often arranged in groups of two or three (rather than combined into one long American style bunker). What’s noticeable, is that there is often a bunker to the rear of the green, which is not so common on many of the courses I play (most are placed short and to the right for us weak slappers and slicers).

There are some areas of the course which have been left grow wild, around the 6th and 7th tees for instance. This gives the course a more natural look, without being the cause of delays on the course whilst golfers hunt for their balls.

There are also some water hazards in play. The par 3 2nd has a large water hazard to the right of the fairway, and there’s another between the the par 4 7th and the par 3 5th.   The water between the 1st and 3rd greens may give the big hitters pause for thought before they attempt to launch a big hit for these greens. It is more likely to catch second shots to the 9th, as it prepares a watery grave for anyone trying to hug the left side too closely looking for a shorter route to the green.

The teeing areas are worth mentioning for their size, number and USGA quality. They were all in good condition and playable during my visit, which was on a wet and windy winter’s day. Apparently the designer has purposefully created four distinct tee positions using two separate teeing areas (in most cases) presumably so that the course set up can be altered for the day’s play and conditions.

The greens, as seems to be de rigeur now, are constructed to USGA standards. I’m not sure, but I think this means the greesn are constructed on a base of some kind of sand-mix. Making them firm and quick draining. Their large size helps to give more flexibility to the course set up and they are all in good condition. Anecdotally, I heard that these sand-based greens are expensive to maintain because they don’t hold nutrients very well so need more regular feeding and watering. I don’t know what the arguments are for and against, but these particular greens play very well.

The landscaping around the greens makes the course a real pleasure to play. Giving you any number of aerial or bump-and-run options to negotiate their slopes. And when combined with the wind howling through this open landscape, you can find your shot-making skills are sadly lacking. 

The fairways are quite tight and shaped to give maximum interest in such an open plot of land. During my visit I noticed that they drain well, are playable when many other courses are not, and appear to be well-maintained. However, the volume of golfers and their apparent lack of care meant that on one fairway in particular (3rd) there were a lot of unreplaced divots. 

The course is quite short at 2738 yards. There are four par 3 holes and two short par 4s. The scorecard also shows that the 9th may be set up on some occasions to play as a long par 4. Don’t be decieved though. I didn’t find it at all easy. The deceptively long par 3 fifth hole is likely to be the cause of many bogeys and double-bogeys. The severely sloping first cut of rough around around the sixth green will channel many pulled tee shots way down to the left, leaving a tricky uphill chip. There is also out-of-bounds to catch pulled tee shots on the 8th and 9th.

It’s the kind of course where local knowledge could help a lot, as the landscaping, spaces between bunkers and wind can all conspire to leave your club selection looking decidedly dopey. If you’re out there for the first time, look out for the markers on the course at 150 yards from the green. 

In my opinion, the best holes are the short par 4, 3rd, the par 3 6th, and the par 5 9th. Overall, I think Michael Pinner has created an attractive and challenging course from very unpromising ground. It’s variety and flexibility afforded by tee positions and big greens means it can be set up in different ways and give golfers of all abilities the chance to play a wide range of shots, particularly when the wind is blowing.

I just came across this map put together by a guy called Charlie Seligman on a website called the Docklands Sports and Social Club. It’s not a bad effort at all, and is accompanied by a table with approximate green fees, contact details, and links to websites, reviews and multimap.

Photographs of the 9 hole ‘links style’ golf course at Crowlands Heath Golf have been added to the course photos section of this website today.

Crowlands Heath Golf Club
Wood Lane
Dagenham
Essex
RM8 1JX
Tel. (020) 8984 7373

There is an offer currently available and throughout the winter months whereby you can pay £10 and play as much golf as you want in one day. The offer is available on weekdays.

It’s a good quality course which is playable and very enjoyable despite the wet weather we’ve been having lately.

Journalists have remembered sports writer Dudley Doust in obituaries published this week. Doust was an American who moved to London and wrote well-regarded and detailed profiles of leading figures in sport. He took over from Henry Longhurst as the golf correspondent for The Times, and wrote on a freelance basis for many papers. 

Dudley also wrote several books on famous sportsman, including Ian Botham, Peter Scudamore, and in Seve: The Young Champion, Seve Ballesteros.

Here are links to the obituaries:

• The Times
• The Independent
• The BBC